Grief

To be human is to open up to the possibility of hope & of disappointment - to have dreams, ambitions, goals, people, animals, places & things that we love and to feel loss when we loose someone or something that we’ve loved.

For some people the sense of grief can be as acute today as it was when they first experienced the loss. I’ve had people in my clinic who are grieving the loss of a parent from when they were a child and they are now in their 50s. Time is not the ultimate healer for everyone.

So what can be done about this to ease us into the place of acceptance and eventually moving on?

The Process of Grief

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was a pioneer in the area of grief and helped many of us understand grief and the journey of it. It isn’t just a moment in time, but stages we go through - and not always in a linear fashion. There will often be a re-visitation of the stages as processing happens.

There are five stages of grief according to her and these are:

• Denial

• Anger

• Bargaining

• Depression

• Acceptance

We are very fortunate in Homeopathy to have many different remedies for grief. As Homeopathy works on the individual and their own expression of imbalance, we may find that different people will need different remedies for grieving. However in saying that Ignatia is one of my go to remedies any time that we are experiencing acute grief.

Ignatia as an Acute Remedy

Made from a plant called the St Ignatius Bean, Ignatia is a remedy that is from a family that contains Strychnine. Strychnine is proven to have spasmodic effects on the body.

Read on to find out how this spasmodic action manifests in the person needing Ignatia as a remedy.

There are two ways we can use the remedy - one as an acute remedy when the grief is very poignant & ripe like a boil ready to burst and one is as a constitutional remedy where the person almost ‘carries’ the Ignatia picture in their constitution.

The Funeral Remedy

For an acute remedy, Ignatia is often called the Funeral Remedy. It is a remedy we will use when someone is passing over for the person passing and also everyone else around. I’ve given it many times in this way - for the whole family to take and it is beautiful in that it helps the acceptance process and people don’t tend to get stuck in the grief cycle quite so intensely.

Another example of when to use it for acute grief might be when a child’s parents are separating, they are leaving school, or have lost a pet, an adult with a relationship breakup or for example when a woman is experiencing a miscarriage - anytime that there is loss coupled with intense emotions. Tears & sadness are overwhelming and there are extremes of intense emotions from laughing to crying, anger to tears.

Ignatia as a Constitutional Remedy

In Homeopathy when we are looking at a constitutional remedy for people, we are looking at going a bit deeper than just a here and now acute prescription.

Remedies are like people - they have many many layers and personality traits and it can take many many years to really get to know and understand a remedy, just like it can with people.

Ignatia as a constitutional remedy is really very beautiful. They are passionate intense people who are extremely idealistic. They are always looking at how things can be better…they imagine and hope for a beautiful relationship, career, holiday, or for example a perfect wedding. They put so much into this romanticised ideal that they are invariably disappointed. They have such high ideals and high expectations that no one can really live up to them and they get disappointed.

So there is this conflict always present - the conflict between their ideal - what they imagine they want or how they want it to be and the reality of how it is. And that hurts. That causes grief. Their expectations were so high and they weren’t met, so they hurt. They experience loss & disappointment

Ignatia - Loss & Disappointment

They have a relationship and they want it to be perfect. They have a career and they want it to be perfect, they are about to become a mother and they want it perfect. They create images & fantasies and fall in love with the wrong person and what do they experience? Disappointment. This is one of our main remedies for disappointed love.

Let go too far, they will harden up - clam up and shut down because they had so many hopes and wishes & dreams and they’ve been let down, so in order not to get hurt again (they are sensitive people) they will shut down.

The grief can be so big & so overwhelming that they have a nervous breakdown. This is a remedy for the nervous system. They may feel much shame and inner conflict and reproach themselves that it didn’t work out they way that they had planned.

Ignatia & Physical Manifestations

Left without the remedy as a helpful tool, they will begin to experience physical manifestations. Like eating…they try to eat away the anger and grief or do the opposite - they won’t eat anything at all. Sighing becomes pronounced and tears either in huge bursts or held in, which causes a feeling of a lump in the throat.

Even the physical symptoms show this theme of conflict. They have a sore throat and it is better from swallowing some rough food. They have an empty feeling in their stomach which is only better if they don’t eat. They find it hard to cry or will cry hysterically. There are emotional outbursts and when they try to hold it in they can end up biting in the inside of the cheek or constantly swallowing or the sides of the mouth will twitch.

So you can see there are lots of conflicting states in the remedy…conflicting states and sensitivity. Sensitive to anything - you can offend them easily, they’re sensitive to Tabaco smoke & coffee and very sensitive to pain - they feel pain more than others.

Lots of yawning & sighing - you may hear sighing again and again and again…silent grief & sighing.

Sensitivity

In relationships they are always trying to make the relationship perfect. They will go back for more, even after being hurt…the conflict of the ideal vs the reality.

Rejection is a huge fear as this brings up all of the grief that is just below the surface - the grief of the idealised and the reality of how it actually is. They can end up feeling trapped - there is no way out and they are always experiencing this grief, this conflict, this disappointment. They are sensitive to criticism and can be critical or sarcastic if they are insulted. They will always criticise if they feel they are being criticised.

Because of the strychnine in the remedy & its ability to cause spasms we see emotional spasms, menstrual cramps, headaches, muscle spasms, spasmodic coughs.

If not given the remedy when needed these people become tough & bitter. Life hasn’t worked out as they had hoped or envisaged and that leads to strong feelings of bitterness and hardness and dramaticising emotions.

Think of this anytime there is a sense of loss with a highly emotional state. Some scenarios of when you would use this remedy are for example; farmers taking calves off the cows (give to both), for a new pet who has left its mother/pack, loss of a career, parent, lover, friend, pet…..the list is endless.

If the symptoms match then give it. The change will be transformational.

If you’re suffering from unresolved grief there is hope with Homeopathy. Please use the button below to book an appointment.

For people living outside of Auckland or NZ - there is hope! I see people from all around the world via Zoom and the connection is excellent. Remedies can be obtained through Homeopathic Pharmacies worldwide.

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My purpose is to help restore the Wellness Within so that you can live your best life - in health, harmony & soulful authenticity

Tania

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